Resources
Preparing for your first call
A few small things to think about before you pick up the phone.
Picking up the phone to talk to a mediator can feel like a big step. It doesn’t have to be. Here are a few small things that may make the call easier for each of you.
Decide what you want to say
You don’t need a full story ready. A few plain sentences about what has happened and what has become hard is plenty. Many people jot down two or three points beforehand so they don’t lose their thread.
If you feel nervous, that is very common. Many people tell us they rehearsed the call in their head for days. It usually goes more simply than you expect, and we will set the pace.
It can help to think about what you would like to be different in a few months. That gives the call a direction without asking you to solve anything yet. We will do the sorting out together, later on.
Think about the practical side
Choose a time when you won’t be rushed or interrupted. A quiet room, a cup of tea and a notepad go a long way. If you are calling from work or a busy place, you may find it harder to speak freely. Turn your phone to silent for a while so the call has your full attention.
Have a few details to hand, such as the best times to reach you and any dates that matter. If there are worries about how you would like to be contacted, tell us. We are happy to work around them. Nothing needs to be perfect, and you can always add things later.
You are welcome to call alone. Often one of you makes the first call, and that is completely normal. We will talk with the other person only when you are both ready.
What to expect from us
Ruth or Tomas will listen first. We will ask a few simple questions, explain how mediation works and answer anything you are unsure about. There is no pressure to book anything on the spot. Whatever you say stays with us unless you tell us otherwise.
We stay even-handed with everyone involved. We don’t take sides, and we don’t give legal advice. If a question is really for a lawyer, we will say so kindly and leave it there.
If you are calling on behalf of both of you, say so. We will still want to hear from each person in their own words before any joint meeting.
You can call, ask your questions and take time to think. Some people ring back a week later, and that is fine.
Take a breath, and call when you feel ready.